


I’m With You

by a1_kitkat



Series: Malex Adopted Family Series [5]
Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: A touch of angst with comfort, Adopted Children, Avril Lavigne References, Based on an Avril Lavigne Song, Childhood Memories, Future Fic, Group Homes, M/M, Malex, Not Beta Read, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-15 05:01:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29928303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a1_kitkat/pseuds/a1_kitkat
Summary: A song from Michael’s past stirs up memories of his teen years.
Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Series: Malex Adopted Family Series [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1890409
Comments: 10
Kudos: 44





	I’m With You

_ ‘Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?’ _

The Avril Lavigne lyrics were the last thing Michael expected to hear blaring from his daughter’s bedroom window as he climbed from his truck, slammed the door closed and just stared at the house.

It didn’t look any different, save for a few scattered old toys in the yard, but inside things were definitely changing. The music playing was just another reminder their daughter was growing up.

He moved towards the front door, rummaged in his pocket for the key and headed inside. Michael removed his hat then placed it upon the special hook in the entryway. Chris hadn’t come running to greet him, probably hadn’t heard him over the loud music.

Only a month ago Kayla had come to them and asked if she could have her own room. They’d been prepared for such a moment ever since they’d adopted the siblings (or so they thought). Actually hearing her say the words kind of hurt because she was growing up but it was also comforting to know the kids were truly happy and settled with them… Not that Michael had ever doubted they  _ wouldn’t _ be.

First she’d asked to get her ears pierced, then it was her own bedroom, next she’d be getting a tattoo then running off to college. Alex constantly had to reassure Michael that they still had middle and high school to get through first.

He moved down the hall and paused in the doorway to the living room. Alex was hunched over his computer (his home office being sacrificed in favor of Kayla’s new room). He was wearing noise canceling headphones which made Michael laugh to himself. It was typical of Alex to just put headphones on rather than tell Kayla to turn her music down or off.

Michael moved through the room, closer to his husband, reached out a hand and plucked the headphones from his head.

With reflexes befitting his Air Force training, Alex was on his feet and had Michael pinned against the wall before he’d even registered that Alex had moved. 

“Michael!” Alex gasped as they stared into each other’s eyes. “I’m sorry, force of habit.”

But Alex still hadn’t released him, his body pressed firmly to Michael’s. Hearts raced as they continued gazing upon the other. He knew it was weird to be so aroused by Alex’s quick reflexes but he leaned in for a kiss all the same.

“I see someone’s happy to be home,” Alex teased him.

“ _ Someone’s  _ just excited to see you,” Michael replied.

Alex finally relaxed his grip upon Michael but he didn’t make any attempt to move away, just slid his arm around Alex’s waist and held him close.

“Has she been playing that all afternoon?” Michael asked.

“Pretty much,” Alex shrugged.

  
  


_ ‘He was a boy; she was a girl. Can I make it anymore obvious?"’ _

  
  


They both turned and looked in the direction of Kayla’s room. Alex finally moved away, Michael reluctantly letting him go.

“Where on earth did she find this?” Michael asked.

“This?” Alex frowned.

“That… Her…”

“Her?”

Michael rolled his eyes.

“Avril!” He stated.

“Oh,” Alex smiled. “Well, you know Kayla was trying to be retro with the CD player Rosa gave her. I found some of my old albums and she’s really taken to that one…”

Michael started at Alex, a look of utter disbelief upon his face. Alex simply frowned, confused.

“What?” He asked with a smile.

“You had this album?” Michael replied.

“Yeah. So?”

“You had  _ this  _ album?”

“Yeah, so?”

“You, and your punk goth emo attitude… listened to this?” He pointed into the air.

“Why is that so hard to believe?” 

Alex reached over and reclaimed his headphones. He placed them by his computer then turned to see a still frowning Michael.

“Honestly?” Alex continued. “I used to just listen to whatever my dad hated the most… Punk Emo music as you put it was one thing, but a female singer? You can bet the Master Sergeant just  _ loved  _ having his son rocking out to ‘angry girl music’.”

“At least it’s catchy music?” Michael added. “Look, I think it’s adorable that she’s taken after your music tastes but does she have to share it with the entire neighborhood?”

“They’re out of town,” Alex pointed towards the neighbours on the left. “And she’s eighty percent deaf.” He pointed to the right. Michael shrugged.

There was another moment of silence as the song ended but the next immediately started.

  
  


_ ‘I'm standing on a bridge, I'm waitin' in the dark. I thought that you'd be here by now’ _

  
  


The song immediately hit Michael hard. Memories instantly stirring inside him of the familiar feeling of absolutely understanding the lyrics to this particular track. He hadn’t heard it in years but he could remember every beat, every word, every emotion he’d ever felt the first time he’d heard it.

Alex’s back was turned as he was busying himself with his computer, saving his work before shutting it down.

Michael could feel the song inside him and he immediately reached for Alex’s hand, suddenly pulled him close and looked into his very confused eyes.

“It's a damn cold night… Trying to figure out this life…” Michael softly sang along, his words choked with emotion.

Alex had never seen him like this before and didn’t know what to say, how to react; he squeezed his hand.

“Won't you take me by the hand?” Michael blinked back tears. “Take me somewhere new…”

Alex continued to hold Michael’s hand but he quickly reached around with his other and wrapped his arm around Michael to hold him close in his embrace. 

Michael buried his face in Alex’s neck and clung to him. Remembering many cold nights where he’d slept in his truck, staring up at the sky, wishing and hoping that his family would come take him home. 

He hadn’t felt like that in years, the feelings of loneliness having faded long ago. His family, his life, his entire World was  _ here _ in Alex’s arms. This was where he belonged, where he was meant to be. The only family who’d ever come looking for him was Alex. The man he’d loved for half of his life, who he was raising two kids with, who’d promised to love and honor and cherish until long after death parted them.

“I’m with you,” Alex whispered in Michael’s ear as he continued to hold him close.

Michael held back a sob that was also part laughter. Of course Alex had immediately understood his reaction. Perhaps these lyrics resonated strongly with him too?

He slowly pulled away just far enough to look at Alex’s face, could barely see him through his tears. He felt Alex’s thumb brushing the tears from his cheeks but he couldn’t speak yet.

“ _ I’m with you _ ,” Alex whispered again and Michael could only nod in agreement.

*

Kayla peered at the clock and her heart skipped a beat. Papi must’ve been home by now but she hadn’t heard his truck. She raced from her room, darted down the hall to find her brother then they both hurried towards the front to greet Papi though she assumed he’d be in the kitchen with Papa.

Both kids paused at the empty kitchen and Kayla frowned but continued on. She stopped in the dining room once she could see both of them.

They were accustomed to seeing displays of affection between their fathers. Michael was constantly showering Alex with hugs and kisses while Alex often complimented Michael for his looks or his skills. She’d seen them hugging and kissing on many occasions but there was something very different about the way they were holding each other right now.

Chris was so excited to see Papi that he started to run towards him but Kayla immediately grabbed her brother to stop him. His childish reaction was to bite her hand.

Kayla yelped, Chris broke free and ran towards Michael.

She saw them break apart and Michael immediately scooped Chris into his arms. He was smiling and seemingly happy but Alex came running to see why she’d cried out. She didn’t want Chris to get in trouble so she pretended to have kicked her toe against the table.

Alex asked if she was okay then he hugged her but as she stared up at him, she saw the way he was looking at her Papi. They were smiling but both looked sad. When Alex asked her to turn her music off, she didn’t even argue. She didn’t even ask to listen to it again before bed.

*

Dinner was later than normal then Alex went to help Chris into bed. Michael helped Kayla to go over her homework before she got ready for bed herself.

Once she was settled under the covers, she waited for Papi to come and read to her.

“You didn’t fall asleep on me, did you?” Michael asked when he stepped into her room. “I, uh, got held up. Sorry.”

“It’s okay, Papi,” she replied as she clutched the book he was reading her.

Michael moved closer, feeling sad that her and Chris were in separate rooms now but at least there were no more arguments over which book to read every night. Alex was still in Chris’s room, reading to him.

“Papi?” Kayla asked, shyly.

“Yeah, sweetheart?” Michael reached for the book.

“Were you sad when you got home today?”

“What? No, coming home to you is the happiest part of my day! Why would you think I was sad?”

“I saw you and Papa before Chris ran in and you looked… I dunno…Sad? Did something bad happen?”

Michael paused, looked into his daughter’s eyes and wondered how exactly to answer her question. Why did she have to be so perceptive? He understood, of course, being in a group home had taught him how to be invisible yet observant. He sighed and put his arm around her.

“It wasn’t  _ bad  _ but you’re right, sweetie, I  _ was _ sad,” Michael told her. “Because I was thinking about a time before you and Chris came into my life… To a time before I fell in love with your Papa. Do you ever think about what it was like when you and your brother were in that group home?”

Kayla froze before slowly nodding her head.

“Sometimes but it makes me sad and I stop,” she admitted. “I love you and Papa.”

“We love you, too. But sometimes you can’t help thinking about things that make you sad.”

“Are you still sad now?”

“No.”

“What were you thinking about that made you sad?”

“It was a song you were playing.”

“ _ I _ made you sad? Papi, I’m  _ sorry _ !”

Kayla started to pull away, looking at Michael in horror but he reached for her hand.

“I’m sorry!” She said again.

“Oh sweetheart, no, you don’t have to apologize,” he said to her. “Come here,”

He held his arm out and she snuggled back against him. Michael cradled her close, kissed the crown of her head while hugging her tightly.

“You’ve been listening to those songs all afternoon?” Michael asked her.

“Yeah…”

“Did you ever really hear the words? What she was singing about?”

“Yeah…” she paused, thinking it over. “No?”

“ _ Isn't anyone tryin' to find me? Won't somebody come take me home? It's a damn cold night… Trying to figure out this life… _ ” Michael softly sang the words to her. “Did I ever tell you I used to sleep in my truck? And some nights were  _ really  _ cold. I used to huddle under a blanket and stare up at the stars, looking for a falling one to make a wish on… Wishing someone would come find me, take me to somewhere warm and…” he trailed off.

“Did anyone ever come find you?” Kayla asked, eyes wide with worry.

“Yeah; your Papa did. Remember, we told you about the shed and that Alex let me stay there until his father caught us together?”

“That was when Grandpa Jesse hurt you… And that song reminded you of that?”

“My teenage years weren’t good and I don’t like to dwell on them anymore, not when my life is just so much better now. I have Alex and you and Chris, everything I’ve ever dreamed of… But I hadn’t heard that song in years and it just triggered something inside me.”

“I’m sorry, Papi,” she looked up at him. “I’ll never play it again.”

“Oh no, sweetie, I want you to listen to the music you like. You’re growing up and finding yourself, your tastes. I mean, your Papa listens to some  _ awful  _ music but he loves it and I love him, just as I love you. So please don’t stop being you, love.”

“But Papi-”

“Sweetheart, I got a surprise is all. You should absolutely listen to whatever songs you want.”

“But-”

“Kayla, you don’t have to worry about me, okay?”

He could see the uncertainty in her eyes and pressed a kiss to her forehead. He reached for her book and held it up, offering to read it to her.

She finally settled down and listened to his voice as he read a chapter to her.

Kayla closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep. Michael kissed her goodnight, placed the book aside then quietly slipped from her room. He made his way through the house and found Alex sitting on the couch. Michael announced himself as he approached, dropped a kiss to Alex’s cheek.

Alex reached for him, pulled Michael down beside him. Michael immediately curled up in his arms.

“I, uh, might’ve been eavesdropping outside Kayla’s room…” Alex admitted to him.

“Alex-” Michael started.

“I was worried, okay?”

“You could’ve just asked me how it went.”

“Well, I heard you singing and it kinda threw me.”

Michael shifted in Alex’s embrace and gazed up at him, felt the gentle touch of his husband’s fingers in his curls.

“My singing voice is non-existent; sorry you had to suffer through that,” Michael said.

Alex leaned down and gently kissed his lips before softly singing in his ear.

“ _ If I could say what I want to say, I'd say I want to blow you _ ,” Michael’s eyes widened. “ _ away, Be with you every night _ .”

“I, uh, don’t think I know that one…” Michael said.

“I listened to the entire thing, a lot… It’s like muscle memory or something. Lyrics are deeply ingrained in my head….  _ 'Cause I'm feeling nervous, Trying to be so perfect. 'Cause I know you're worth it, You're worth it _ .”

“Alex-”

“You’re worth it,” Alex stated. “You are everything to me, Michael. You and the kids, are everything I dreamed of. I may not have been freezing in the back of a truck because I  _ had  _ a family like you dreamed of but it wasn’t a good one, a pleasant one, it wasn’t even a loving one… But I did use to huddle in that shed and wish my mom would come back for me, take me away from there, away from him.”

“Alex?” Michael gasped in surprise. After all these years, how did he not know that about that?

“And if that had happened, we might never have found each other.”

“We  _ would _ have.” Michael insisted as he sat up and took both of Alex’s hands in his. He looked into Alex’s eyes and held his gaze. “Because we’re…  _ Us _ . We connected like a cosmic twist of fate and I swear on… the multiverses out there, that in every possible universe, you and I always find each other.”

“You always were the most hopeless of romantics,” Alex said to him with a smile.

Michael brought Alex’s hand to his lips and kissed his palm while gazing into his eyes. Alex had seen the pain in those eyes just hours earlier and now they were brimming with pure love and devotion.

“I love you, Michael,” Alex whispered. “I’m with you, now and forever.”

“Forever and always,” Michael agreed. “Now I do believe you sang something about blowing me…?”

“Well, the song actually suggests for you to go down…”

Michael’s eyes lit up in pure delight, a wicked smirk on his lips.

“...On one knee,” Alex added with a grin.

“I seem to recall it was  _ you _ who got down on one knee and proposed...” Michael pretended to think about it.

“So you’re saying it’s  _ your  _ turn tonight?”

“Well, I don’t know. I mean, my knees ain’t what they used to be… I’m not exactly as  _ limber  _ as I once was-”

“Oh, don’t you  _ dare _ leave me to do all the work,”

“I thought you liked taking control.”

Alex reached up, cupped Michael’s face and looked into his eyes.

“I think now’s the part where we stop talking, adjourn to the bedroom and I show you just how much I love you, on one knee or two or you on your back with me on top.”

“I definitely love the sound of that,” Michael whispered, leaned closer and kissed him. “And I love you.”

Alex climbed to his feet, pulled Michael into his arms and started leading him towards their bedroom but Michael paused, pushed open the door to Kayla’s room. She was fast asleep.

“I never want her to feel the way I did,” Michael whispered. Alex kissed his neck.

“She won’t, neither of them will because they have us,” Alex said.

“I’m glad I have you, and them.”

“We’re with you, Michael. We always will be.”

Michael nodded, pulled the door closed and followed Alex into their room. He was safe, he was happy, he was loved. He had the life he’d always dreamed of and he would never let it go.

“ _ We are in love, Haven't you heard. How we rock each other's world…”  _ Alex whispered.

“As beautiful as your singing voice is, baby, please stop with the Avril songs,” Michael said.

“Would you rather me sing some Taylor Swift?” Alex asked. “Some… Look what you made me do? I knew you were trouble?”

Michael shook his head, pressed a series of kisses to Alex’s neck.

“You belong with me, Alex,” Michael said. “But no more singing, it’s time to get naked.”

“With my… Lover,” Alex murmured into their kiss.

They both giggled as they fell onto the bed.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Based on/Featuring songs from Avril Lavigne’s debut album. In particular:  
> \- Complicated  
> \- Sk8ter Boi  
> \- I’m With You  
> \- Things I’ll Never Say


End file.
